Handspun, handwoven

So we were eating dinner late, just the 2 of us, and he says, let's watch in front of the TV. Sure, says I, unawares. Well. "So you think you can dance?" Hmmm. I propose to you, ladies and gentlemen, a REAL reality show : "So you think you can weave?" (followed by its spin off (har har) "so you think you can spin.") See weavers locked in a house with hideous yarn! Who can make the prettiest item the fastest! Vote, America! Who can figure out the mistake in the pattern first? Vote, vote. Who can wind the tidiest warp? Who can warp on front to back fastest? Shall we pit front to back vs back to front? And what about finishing techniques? I see a hit on our hands!
So who do I call about this?